Updated: May 19, 2021
I believe one of the key elements to the health, strength and success of any relationship is the gift of spending quality time. I would challenge you and ask, how much time do you spend with the lover of your soul and what does that look like?
One of the fruits of spending quality time is intimacy. I will say that intimacy is so crucial in building a love relationship. I know our first instinct is to think of the physical, but I’m talking about being available, vulnerable and accepting. Giving your time is such an act of sacrifice and commitment and also choice. A choice to be present but not only choosing but desiring to be there.
Because of the pain I was in, I found the need to find my closet, more urgent and more often than I had imagined. But there is only so much crying you can do. LOL. So in between sobs, I would have very long and deep conversations with Love looking for answers and more often than not, just to talk. I could trust Love; I was safe with Love. He would protect and keep my secrets; His voice was one I could trust during this very vulnerable time. As my need for more clarity and understanding grew I sought Him out in His word and oh what joy I found there. He led me to Samuel where I discovered David, his life of love, faith, and obedience. I know there is so much more to David, but this is what God sent me to find and boy did I. I would find myself sneaking off in the middle of gatherings to read some more, to find out what was happening next. The day I read of his last breath, I felt like a lost my companion for the journey, I was going to miss him. God had more for me, but the lessons in the stories were an essential part of the journey. As I walked through the various ebbs and flows of this discovery, I needed to see God at work, to see how faithful He is to his promises once we have committed to running after His heart and being obedient to His voice. To seek first, His instructions and wisdom at critical junctures of life and knowing that he will always answer.
I discovered these truths through moments of longing to be with Him, to sit at His feet and take counsel from His voice, His word and His revelations.
It wasn’t about praying once or twice; it was about a constant conversation all day long. In hearing His voice on the busy streets of Toronto and sensing His footsteps beside mine as I made my way from the train station to the office. It was in knowing that when I closed my eyes, that He would reveal something new to me in a dream that would be confirmed later. It was about the songs I’d sing and spaces of praise and worship we would create together. It was all of that and so much more that filled my being and created such a desperate need to have him always.
You know you are deeply loved when you are seen at your worse, but they still come back. That is love, that’s Jesus 😊.
There were days where no words were spoken, just the sound of sobbing. Then there were the bursts of angry accusations, the “Why Me, Why Now?” Then times of confession and inward reflection on how I got here and the role I played. Then the quiet would visit again. But all the while, I knew I wasn’t alone. I could feel the safety and warmth of Love all around me slowly filling the empty places. A gift I would have never experienced without spending time, quality time.