Her name is amazing, but I don’t think she actually knew that, so she couldn’t own it. For so long she hung in the shadows only allowing herself to experience that truth in her dreams. But I remember the day I first saw her with such clear eyes and my heart ached for her to run into it and leave all the lies behind.
I was twenty-six and I can see it like yesterday, walking out of that room and staring back at a picture of myself. That young woman who had seen and experienced too much and genuinely feeling sorry for her. But I knew I would never be her again, from that day forward with newly found courage, she would take a new step forward. A little closer to destiny. The truth is that it really was only a step because challenges and hard times would continue, but I was a little stronger, a little clearer, more confident. I would say that at the root of my stumbles and some not-so-great choices was this lack of self-worth. Not knowing the true essence of who I was and the gift that God had designed in me. Though I believed in Him, I didn’t know what it was truly like to deeply love and trust Him. I couldn’t see what He saw and therefore looked to others for the assurance.
I didn’t see her strength, her heart, her creativity and even her ability to lead. Words like dynamic, awesome, amazing were never words she owned but they were definitely her words.
But with time, each step, each stumble and each cheer, she would be drawn a little closer. You see, the seasons were designed to cast more and more light on the right path for her to walk on. A path that would lead to doors to be opened and people to love along the way. And with the acceptance and complete acceptance of love, she could see herself. She could here her name and answer.
Forgetting those things behind and pressing towards the mark that says “you are more than you could imagine. You are amazing.”